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The Assistant

Satire, just turn off the living room

  • Satire
  • Monologue
  • 2 min
  • Female role
  • Adult
  • Beginner
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Casting

6 lines
  • MOI Female role, Adult your role

Full text

(A living room. She addresses a small speaker on the table.)

MOI

Assistant. Turn off the living room light. …Just the living room.

(A beat. Every light in the house goes off, then flickers back on.)

MOI

No. The living room. ONE word. Just one. “Living room.” You know thirty languages but not my kitchen.

(She enunciates.)

MOI

Turn. Off. The. Living. Room. Light.

(The speaker lights up, cheerful.)

MOI

“Sure! Playing your ‘Living Room Vibes’ playlist.”

I don’t have a playlist. I’ve never had a playlist. You invented it to be right.

(She stands.)

MOI

Fine. I’ll turn it off by hand. Like an animal. Like in 2005. And you can sit there in the dark thinking about what you did. No, sorry, you don’t turn off when I want it either.

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