The Panel
Satire, the verticality of the croissant
- Satire
- Scene for 3
- 3 min
- Male role
- Senior
- Intermediate
Casting
9 lines- HUGO Male role, Adult
- MYRIAM Female role, Adult
- GÉRARD Male role, Senior your role
Full text
(Three judges behind a table. Before them, a croissant, under a cloche.)
HUGO
Right. We judge this croissant on our four axes: crispness, emotion, verticality, and storytelling.
MYRIAM
It speaks to me. This croissant has lived. You taste the butter, but above all you taste the doubt.
GÉRARD
I don’t eat doubt. I eat a croissant. It’s good.
HUGO
“Good” is not a criterion, Gérard. “Good” is the zero degree of judgement.
GÉRARD
And yet that’s the point of a croissant. To be good.
MYRIAM
The point of a croissant is to make us question ourselves.
(A beat.)
GÉRARD
Mine makes me question why I’m sitting here.
HUGO
Rate the verticality from 1 to 10.
GÉRARD
It’s a croissant. It’s lying down. The verticality is zero. Like our conversation.
(Myriam writes “8.” The croissant, indifferent, goes cold.)
What you can do with it
Original text written for Acto. Read it, print it, work on it in class, perform it at an audition or on a self-tape: that is what it is for, and you need no permission. For a public performance or any commercial use, write to us at contact@acto.re.
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