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The Form

Absurd, the counter

  • Satire
  • Two-hander
  • 3 min
  • Male role
  • Adult
  • Beginner
PDF Word Free, no sign-up

Casting

12 lines
  • AGENT No gender marker, Adult
  • USAGER Male role, Adult your role

Full text

(A counter. A glass partition. A form the size of a tablecloth.)

AGENT

Did you tick box 14?

USAGER

There is no box 14. It goes from 13 to 15.

AGENT

That’s exactly box 14. Its absence. You must tick its absence.

USAGER

How do I tick a box that doesn’t exist?

AGENT

With an invisible pen. They’re sold from the machine. Out of order since 1998.

USAGER

So I can’t fill in the form.

AGENT

No one can. That’s what makes it a good form. If it could be filled in, everyone would get through.

USAGER

And the ones who get through?

AGENT

They don’t get through. They give up. And giving up, here, is our way of moving forward.

(The agent stamps a blank sheet.)

AGENT

Here. Your certificate of surrender. Frame it. It’s the only document you’ll ever get from us.

USAGER

…Thank you?

AGENT

Don’t thank me. Box 22 prohibits gratitude. You ticked it without knowing, on the way in.

What you can do with it

Original text written for Acto. Read it, print it, work on it in class, perform it at an audition or on a self-tape: that is what it is for, and you need no permission. For a public performance or any commercial use, write to us at contact@acto.re.

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